BlotterFeed

"Your Daily Dose of Disorder"
CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS •CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS • CAUTION • DO NOT CROSS •

Terms & Conditions

~ the fine print nobody reads ~
EFFECTIVE: LAUNCH DAY
DELAWARE, USA

1. Acceptance of Terms

By accessing or using BLOTTERFEED ("the Service"), you agree to be bound by these Terms and Conditions ("Terms").

IF YOU DON'T AGREE, GTFO!

2. Nature of the Content

• BlotterFeed aggregates, summarizes, and sometimes SATIRIZES publicly available scanner traffic

• All content is for ENTERTAINMENT ONLY

• Content may contain fictionalized elements, exaggerated commentary, or humor

• We are NOT affiliated with any law enforcement or government agency

• We make NO guarantee of accuracy!

Scanner info can be incomplete, outdated, misheard, or just plain WRONG

3. No Reliance for Safety or Law Enforcement

⚠️ CRITICAL WARNING ⚠️

• DO NOT use BlotterFeed to make safety decisions

• DO NOT use for reporting crimes or investigations

IF YOU NEED HELP, CALL 911

4. User Accounts & Data Collection

• We may collect your email for newsletters, favorites, or features

• We collect anonymous site performance analytics

• Location features may be added in the future (with notice)

SEE PRIVACY POLICY

5. Intellectual Property

• All summaries and commentary are property of BlotterFeed

• You may NOT copy, scrape, or redistribute without permission

🚫 BOTS, CRAWLERS & SCRAPING TOOLS PROHIBITED 🚫

6. Prohibited Uses

You agree NOT to:

  • • Scrape or data mine without permission
  • • Repurpose for law enforcement/surveillance without consent
  • • Use the Service in any unlawful manner
VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED

7-8. Disclaimers & Liability

"AS IS" BASIS

• Service provided WITHOUT WARRANTIES of any kind

• We disclaim ALL liability for inaccuracies or delays

• NOT responsible for actions based on our content

• NO liability for any damages arising from use

Use at your own risk, chaos agents!

The Boring Legal Stuff

9. Changes: We may update these Terms anytime. Continued use = acceptance.
10. Governing Law: Delaware State Law applies (tax haven FTW!)
11. Contact:
contact@blotterfeed.com
FINAL WARNING

This is a SATIRICAL entertainment site

DO NOT use for actual emergency information

STAY WEIRD, STAY SAFE